Be Very Clear About What You Want

I have a client who really wanted a long-term relationship. They decided that losing weight was a part of the path to get there. Along the way, they changed their diet, started a fitness program, and lost "only" about 5 pounds before meeting a special someone. Suddenly the motivation of super-fitness went away as this someone clearly accepted their body exactly as it is.

While I do believe in taking care of your body, the real lesson here is that what the client truly wanted was to be in a relationship. That was the goal, everything else was steps toward it. Our calls became largely about fitness and diet for awhile, but that was in service of the larger goal. This client became unhappy when it appeared the fitness goals were going away, but when we stepped into the context and looked, we were very clear distinguishing what were just steps toward something, albeit good steps, and what was the real goal.
I contend that this applies to a lot of us. We have goals, as great as they may be, and then get caught up in the details of our path to get there. Maybe our goal was to take a big vacation, so we take a second job for awhile, but then we feel bad about taking a break from this second job to take a vacation. When choices involve sacrificing one thing for another, there is usually a very clear decision when the ultimate goal is kept in mind.
Be very clear about what you want, and what is part of the path to get there. Not just so the universe delivers it to you, but also so you can make big decisions when the time comes.


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