Identify What You Really Want

When we are growing up, we have a lot of rules. We can only go so far, we can only stay out so late, we cannot be around certain people, etc.. This is a context that stays with many of us. Often people will say things like "this is going ok, it’s the best I can do for now" meaning that given their work situation, place of residence, who they spend their time with, and what they can do without disrupting too many people, that is the best they can see right now.

I encourage everyone to instead start by thinking what they really want. This is not to ask "what is within the game I’m playing right now," but what is it you would have if you could? Would you hang out with all the same people? Would you live in the same city? Would you have a completely different career? Maybe the answer is yes to all of these, maybe not, but you never ever will know if you just continue to do your best with what is in front of you. I contend that most of the rules we put in front of us are the result of this childhood context still with us.

Identify what you really want, and use that as a start. Do not start by identifying your boundaries and what you can do. The best artists do not take a coloring book and use the fanciest colors they can find, they start with a blank slate and make what they want, how they want to make it.

One thought on “Identify What You Really Want

  1. I love the aspect you quietly contend that ” nothing is wrong…it’s just not a fit for our highest and best selves”. Thanks for a thoughtful post.

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