Clients come to me because somewhere they feel stuck. Usually it’s unsuccessful romantic happenings, desire to lose weight, unhappiness at work, or some combination therein. Within the first two discussions, there is a statement of “I don’t do this” or “that isn’t for me” or “they aren’t my type,” always stated as fact. It is at this time that the awareness begins and change officially starts to happen.
Ironically that was me as well. For example, there was a time when I would tell you I am not the type of person that travels. My first passport expired in 2009 with one stamp, from a trip in 1999. Clearly my views have changed now, but they didn’t change until I actually made another trip. I used to say the same thing about Acro Yoga. I consider myself a yoga “purist” and thought it was a waste of time to play with partners, and while it does not replicate a real yoga practice, it can be a really fun way to spend an afternoon. (And it makes for super-awesome pictures!)
One day I decided that my life was producing a lot of the same patterns, I identified where I was making these “not for me” factual statements, and with work became the exciting person you see before you now. A blog for many readers, a coaching practice, moving to California, leaving a government job for something which makes me much happier are all things which never would have happened without my deciding to be different than I was, and the results have been amazing.
This message is the same for every single person reading this. Before definitively deciding that something or someone isn’t for you, have you tried it? What makes you positive that this thing or this person is not for you when you have zero experience? This is true especially, but not only, if you find yourself consistently in the same pattern, and you are not happy with this pattern. If you’re not happy romantically, maybe broaden your “type” for the sake of good experience. If you’re not happy at work, maybe it’s time to leave. Try something new, even if you only try it once. It is always your choice to either expand your experiences or to repeat your past patterns.
Expand and broaden. This is how to break down patterns, and it is so much fun in the process.