Notice Hierarchy Context

One common thing I have been seeing is a context of hierarchy. Many people, when describing interactions with others, seem to have a subconscious way of describing them as either not quite up to the same level as you, or a level way above. This certainly can apply in a workplace when one is a supervisor, but it can apply to many other places as well.

Think about it yourself, if you were socializing with someone after a 5K, would your opinion of them change if you suddenly found out they ran it much slower than you? Or much faster than you? Would it change how you spoke with them moving forward? What if you meet someone who is potentially a romantic interest, is there a different way you treat them if you believe they are more attractive than you, or less attractive?

This context comes from our childhood when we are almost always in situations where we look for someone to be "in charge," usually an adult. Regardless of where it comes from, learn to notice it. Remember, the number one thing that people want is to be understood, to feel like they were heard. If you place them in a bin of "higher" or "lower" based on one trait they have, or one thing they have done, then you are not understanding them, you are labeling. That is not an ideal way to connect. It is not relating.

Notice hierarchy context. It may have surprising effects on your ability to connect.

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