Imagine for a second that something happens so your car is in a ditch. While it is in the ditch, you are almost definitely thinking about how to get your car out of there. There is no thought about your romantic relationships, your fitness program, your career, or renovating your home. There are only thoughts about getting out of the unfortunate situation which you are in.
This is an analogy for living at effect versus being the true driver of your life. Some of us find ourselves in a place where we are just trying to survive. Maybe you do not feel like we are in a dire situation like a ditch, but you do feel like we are handing one thing after another which comes our way and needs to be handled, instead of creating it ourselves. This is a difficult time because there is no moving forward, there is only surviving. Much like when your car is in a ditch, you will not be having productive thoughts about furthering your life. Your thoughts go to how you can survive what is happening.
It is always possible to be the driver. Find help if you need it, you are not living your purpose if you are in this mode of reacting.