I heard a great quote this week from Louis C.K, which was “When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.” Think about the last time somebody informed you that you hurt them. What was your reaction? Did you go to apologize? Did you go to a defensive position and try to explain? Did you deny and tell them that they shouldn’t have been so hurt? Or did you try to relate?
Remember that more than anything else, people want to be heard. Beyond anything else, people want to feel that what they feel is understood. Sure, if there is a misunderstanding of any kind it might be worth trying to explain, but at the end of the day, being connected is always going to be more effective than any amount of explaining.
Relate and connect. It is the best way to be with somebody.